Poppy

How can such a little fluff ball fill such a big space?
Quickly letting us know she was pivotal to our world.

She never asks for much – a warm spot, high five and a fuss.
But she some how filled my heart with those beautiful eyes & gentle soul.

Yet my beautiful one.. you have a battle ahead of you no one should have
Fighting to live, play, snooze, eat, cuddle & be so loved.

You watch the birdies outside, unaware of the battle that wages inside you.
I send you healing my beautiful one, hoping it can somehow stop the war.

I need to tell you how much I love you & how you’ve brought such joy.
Whether we beat this cancer or not, thank you sweet Poppy.

I was given such a precious gift when you came my way that summers day.
I’m beyond blessed to share your time and I love you so… thank you xx

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Always…

Catherinewheels, scattering sparkles of ‘Ooh’ and ‘aww’ into the darkness.

Golden flashes of retinal burns scatter across ever childish eyes.

Can she remember the Catherinewheel when her hand was in mine I wonder.

A time when the darkness could not contain all the happiness that I knew.

Stripped bare of her company the wheel spins an endless tale of my broken heart.

The memories of her beauty and laughter forever reflected in my son’s innocent eyes.  

My darling Catherine, my eternal love.

I close my eyes and hear her quietly whisper to me.

‘I remember my love, I will always remember’ xx 

Dreams and wishes. .

My day is full of dreams and wishes
I wish for this and I dream of that
In between the mundane and routine
I lose myself to somewhere,  anywhere
To the things that make me happy
To the things that make me remember
I remember the smile you gave to me
I remember the love that came with you
The happiness we had on those lazy days
The life that seemed so simple, so free
All that crazy love you gave to me
I dream of those happy times
I wish you could come back, I miss you
Dreams and wishes..

Transformation either way…

Many things in life can cause a transformation. Sometimes it’s for the better and sometimes it’s for the worse.

Think of the person that’s been told they have cancer and then fight against all the odds to survive. Their life is transformed and they know they have a second chance. Often they then live a fuller, happier life because they choose only to do what makes them happy as they have a new understanding of how precious life is. What about the person who has lost the most precious person in the world to them or maybe more than one person. Their transformation can be very different as they may wonder if life is actually worth living at all. They then can push the self destruct button and spiral down into total despair.

But maybe the person that has been given a second chance is the one that is supposed to pick up that person who has lost all hope. Maybe they are there to help them find a positive transformation from the sorrow they have gone through.

The master plan is complex… Do we know all of it’s twist, turns and pathways?

No we don’t and I don’t think we are supposed to… it is complex and some believe it’s all meant to be whilst others believe we are flesh and blood living each moment only.

I guess we’ll never know… or will we….

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For Neale… RIP

Please be there she asked
Please let me know that you’re ok
Her mind tumbled in desperate thought
Her body longed to hear and feel anything
Where are you my love
Where have you gone without me
Pain poured from her eyes
Pain suffocated her heart
I so long for your touch
Eyes closed, she felt his hand slip into hers
She smiled
I knew you’d come she said,  I knew you’d come